Johnny Cook: The Impossible Job


Like our quarterly publications, Blizzard Books will provide the same freedom as in our quarterly editions for writers to write about the football-related subjects that are important to them, be that at the highest level or the lowest, at home or abroad. Eclecticism, and the desire to provide an alternative to that which already exists, is the key. 

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Harton Town are in trouble. With three games left before the end of the season, they’re six points adrift at the bottom of the table. They need a hero. They got a delivery driver. And not a particularly good one at that.

Johnny Cook is out of shape, out of luck and very nearly out of hair. But it wasn’t always like this. Back in 1986, he was Harton’s hottest young striker for almost twenty minutes before a heavy challenge ended his career on the same night it began.

Due to a ridiculous, and yet somehow plausible, series of events, Cook is given the chance to save his old club from the drop. His players hate him, his chairman hates him, and his girlfriend is struggling to recall exactly what it was she ever liked about him.

It’s that old-fashioned rags-to-rags, boy-has-girl, girl-doesn’t-like-boy,  boy-wants-to-keep-girl, girl-wants-a-boy-who-doesn’t-use-farts-as-punctuation story, juxtaposed against the top level of English football and set to the music of Supertramp. 

What people (well, football journalists) have said about Johnny Cook: The Impossible Job

“There’s no other writer quite like Iain Macintosh. I think, on balance, that’s a good thing.” – Jonathan Wilson

“He sent me a copy and, I have to say, it’s made the most wonderful doorstop.” – Mark Chapman

"Iain Macintosh, having run out of milk, once asked whether it was morally acceptable to put his wife's expressed breast milk – intended for his baby daughter – in his coffee. This book is everything you'd expect from someone like that." – Gabriele Marcotti

“It’s not too long, it’s got football in it and there are some rudimentary penis jokes. What’s not to like?” – Patrick Barclay

Johnny Cook: The Impossible Job 4 5 5

Customer reviews

  • Johnny Cook: The Impossible Job 5

    An amazing read
    Posted by Vince Moran on 23/12/2014

    This is a wonderful read. In reference to football skill, best described as when David Dunn tried the fancy flick and fell flat on his ass. Entertaining and emotional.

  • Johnny Cook: The Impossible Job 5

    I've got a numb bum
    Posted by Andy Sneesby on 10/01/2015

    I can’t remember the last time I read a whole book in one sitting. Brilliant read. Thank you for ‘slapping away at your keyboard in the early hours’. Exceedingly well written. Makes me want to start writing something. Anything.

  • Johnny Cook: The Impossible Job 5

    Cant live with the guilt
    Posted by Ewan Scott on 15/04/2015

    Having been the left back that actually administered the career ending challenge, I felt compelled to buy this book in order to ensure that his financially strapped family are at least compensated for the ill I have caused. Its a truly heart warming story of a mediocre footballer, and an even more mediocre manager. I felt so bad about the challenge, that I left football behind and formed the band Supertramp.

  • Johnny Cook: The Impossible Job 5

    Excellent book
    Posted by Gavin Maxwell on 16/04/2015

    I have to admit - I loved this.
    It was a cracking story and was easily read in 1 sitting.

    It was one of those where you didn't really know which was it was going to go, and I have to admit it had some great characters in it (Volkan being a particular favourite)

    Now I'm just waiting for the sequel so I can get the next stage of the story.

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